Chastity Garner Valentine
Creator, GarnerStyle.com, & Co-Founder, CURVYcon
“Learn to appreciate the things you like about yourself and be okay with the things you don’t.”
What makes you feel body confident?
I’ve always placed my confidence in my accomplishments and intelligence. Things like my personal brand, theCURVYcon, swimming fast, being an awesome aunt, and smart business decisions all make me feel confident about myself. It’s always made me think my body and brain have allowed me to accomplish these things. These are things I earned through the use of my body.
What advice would you offer to people struggling with self-image?
Learn to appreciate the things you like about yourself and be okay with the things you don’t. A Sheryl Crow lyric I love is, “It’s not about wanting what you don’t have, it’s about wanting what you got.” Apply that and you will find out how much happier you can be with yourself.
What is the greatest lesson you’ve learned about body empowerment?
That we are all different and that we can appreciate those differences. I look at people like Winnie Harlow and Ashley Graham and see that even though they are different they have a place and they are making being different acceptable and normal.
How can you protect the children in your life from body hatred and eating problems?
I’ve already encountered this with my own nieces that are ages 11 and 14. One wants straight textured hair and the other wants to hide her body because she thinks she is too thin. When conversations of body image comes up or hair texture I always have a stance where they are made just the way they supposed to be. All bodies are good bodies and all hair is good hair. They may think I have to say that because I’m their Aunt, but I don’t and I mean it. I hope that if I repeat it enough times it will stick.
Leta Greene
Influencer, Pinners Conference & Expo
“We should be kind to ourselves, loving even so that our children pick up our habits of self-care and self respect. And, it is never too late.”
What makes you feel body confident?
For years, when I looked at myself I only saw my broad shoulders, the family trait of a double chin, and missing front teeth (yes, you read that right). I saw the ugly. I focused too much on the things I didn’t like and not enough on the things that are great about myself. I love my eyes, my smile, and my curves, too. Opening up to what is right helped me to redefine the things that I once disliked. Those sturdy shoulders can carry a lot. The family chin reminds me of the love of my extended family. As for the missing teeth, cosmetic dentistry.
What advice would you offer to people struggling with self-image?
Makeup, clothing, and diet can only alter us so much. It’s what we choose to see when we look in a mirror that reinforces our mind’s focus for the good or the bad. Learning to love what we see is not about achieving a certain size or image. We put our bodies on a diet when we really need to abstain from the empty calories of comparisons and restrict the intake of negativity. Just like we need to feed our bodies, we need to feed our minds with a full spectrum of what is healthy. I advise people to look in the mirror every day and verbalize what is right. I call this Vanity Prayers. Starting at the top, say what you love about you and only what you love. We tend to do the opposite when we verbalize how we are fat, have wrinkles, or notice the traits we don’t like. What we speak is what we bring into focus.
What is the greatest lesson you’ve learned about body empowerment?
Separating how lovable I am from my appearance. I have asked clients over the years who really loves them and why they are loved? Only one has said she was loved because she was pretty, and it was said with resentment. We are loved not for what we look like; we are loved for how we make others feel when they’re with us. Our kindness, loyalty, compassion, friendship: these are what make us beautiful in the eyes of those who “really” love us.
How can you protect the children in your life from body hatred and eating problems?
Our words spoken without thought become our children’s thoughts. I teach women to address their own self-talk, if for no better reason than to protect the budding self-esteems of our children. As a child, I had a grandma that told me I wasn’t pretty. I look just like her daughter, my mom. My grandmother’s words became my mother’s belief, and were an assumed fact in my young mind. The truth is that grandma had a narrow idea of beauty: she thought beauty brought you love, when in fact her words uttered with that assumption isolated her. We should be kind to ourselves, loving even so that our children pick up our habits of self-care and self respect. And, it is never too late. My mother now knows she is beautiful.
Stephanie Kaplan Lewis
Co-Founder, Chief Executive Officer, & Editor-In-Chief, Her Campus
“Setting and achieving athletic goals can also be a huge confidence booster, so find something your child is interested in and enjoys doing where he or she can shine.”
What makes you feel body confident?
Crushing a tough workout or long run makes me feel on top of the world and in awe of what my body can accomplish.
What advice would you offer to people struggling with self-image?
Focus more on what your body can do, rather than on how it looks. Thank your body for getting you through the day every day, for keeping you healthy, and enabling you to go out and succeed at whatever it is you choose to pursue.
What is the greatest lesson you’ve learned about body empowerment?
It doesn’t matter how attractive (by society’s standards) someone is- everyone struggles with self-image at one point or another.
How can you protect the children in your life from body hatred and eating problems?
Focus on healthy behaviors like eating right and staying active. As long as you’re taking care of yourself, your body will look the way it’s meant to for you as an individual. Setting and achieving athletic goals can also be a huge confidence booster, so find something your child is interested in and enjoys doing where he or she can shine.
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