Babies on Board: Mommy Bloggers Talk Pregnancy, Motherhood, and Community

Tell us about your experience as a mother.

Becoming a mother has unlocked a whole new layer of myself that I never knew existed. I’ve always been extremely career- and goal-oriented, passionate, and driven, but I also knew deep down that I wanted to become a mom. For years, I truly wondered if I could have both! I looked at the women in my industry – most of whom worked extremely long hours and were not moms – and wondered if I’d ever find the right time or strike the perfect work-life balance. 

When my husband, Phil, and I found out we were pregnant with our first baby, Naiya, I was beyond excited but also terrified. The timing seemed right but not quite perfect (I later learned it never really is!), but I stayed positive and hoped everything would work out in the end. Of course it did, and I fell madly in love with Naiya and being her mom. My life has been forever changed in the best way possible. 

Naiya is my Earth, moon, and stars, and while I struggle daily to find the perfect balance between being the best mom to her and being someone who loves to excel at work, I’m learning a bit more about how to make it all work every day. Motherhood is definitely the hardest, most rewarding job I’ve ever had, and I’ve also never felt more fulfilled or happy. Now that I’m pregnant with my second baby and due this fall, I can’t wait to see how my life perspective will continue to grow. 

During your pregnancies, what were some complications or difficulties that you were faced with?

During my first pregnancy, I was extremely nauseated and threw up almost every day until the moment I gave birth. They literally gave me an IV drip of Zofran on the operating table for my C-section because I was still that nauseated. I had heard of morning sickness before, but mine was so severe I was on prescription medication to help me get through the day for nine months. I hoped that my second pregnancy would be much easier but unfortunately, I’ve had the exact same complication! This pregnancy, I’m on two prescription drugs to help control my extreme nausea, but I still throw up almost every day and it’s been really challenging. 

Did you ever find yourself in a situation where you had to overcome any sort of shame or guilt in terms of motherhood? How did you work through this?

I initially felt a lot of internal mom guilt in going back to work after becoming a first-time mom. As much as I loved working and being busy, I felt so much guilt leaving my baby all day for the first time. I remember crying my eyes out in the beginning every time I walked out of the house to go to work. I’d sob even harder every time I pumped at work and couldn’t nurse my baby in person.  Almost two years in, I still have pretty intense mom guilt leaving our daughter to go to work every day, but I learned to see the positives. My hope is that in seeing me work so hard, our daughter will grow up to be a girl boss who goes after her dreams and knows that if she works hard and is passionate, she can have it all. 

With your public platform, what are you hoping to share with other mothers?

My goal is to share authentic stories about motherhood, mom and daughter style inspiration, and family travel tips. I hope to connect with other passionate women in hopes that together, we can lift one another up and find our village. 

Tell us about your experience as a mother.

It’s the kind of thing that can’t really be put into words. Before becoming a mom, I remember feeling afraid of the kind of mom I would be, mostly because I never really wanted kids. I was so nervous! The second my son was born, I became a new person; my heart changed, my brain changed, and the love that was created that day transformed me. Ever since then, motherhood has been the most amazing journey of my life. Motherhood is full of so many things: joy and laughter, hardships and challenges. Yes, I’ve cried a ton, but I have also laughed harder than I’ve ever laughed before.

During your pregnancies, what were some complications or difficulties that you were faced with?

My first pregnancy was a breeze. I worked out the whole time, I felt great, I never got sick, and I recovered really quickly. During my second pregnancy, I was sick for the first trimester and in pain the whole last trimester. I replaced working out with trips to McDonald’s! I had the worst contractions for weeks. I learned that every pregnancy is not the same, and I tried my best to get through it with humor and a smile… while holding a Big Mac.

Did you ever find yourself in a situation where you had to overcome any sort of shame or guilt in terms of motherhood? How did you work through this?

Yes, I struggled with being a stay-at-home mom for quite some time. I would have conversations with other moms that had dynamic careers while being mothers, and I felt super inadequate. This is honestly how my blog was born. I created something that gave me my confidence back. But most importantly, it has given me the opportunity to reach out and connect with so many other mothers and women; it really has taken on a life of its own. I am so blessed to be able to stay at home with my babies while doing what I love, and I would not change that for the world.

With your public platform, what are you hoping to share with other mothers?

I have shared so much of my life with my audience, from my struggles with postpartum anxiety to my favorite fashion finds while nine months pregnant. I just try to keep it real while keeping it fun! Now that I am getting ready to be a mother of two, I am so excited to share life with two under two and believe me, I turn to my audience for guidance and advice constantly. They are a wealth of knowledge and I know I will need it!

Tell us about your experience as a mother.

I am now a mom to three children ages 6, 8, and 10. It amazes me each day that I get to raise three children and that they are all mine. Motherhood has been the greatest yet hardest task I’ve ever experienced in my life, and is of course the most rewarding.  

During your pregnancies, what were some complications or difficulties that you were faced with?

I experienced secondary infertility when we were trying for my second baby. We got pregnant right away with my first, and I was just so baffled why it was taking that long to get pregnant again. After a bunch of failed intrauterine inseminations, we tried in vitro fertilization and it worked. The whole process was long and exhausting and totally unexpected. 

Did you ever find yourself in a situation where you had to overcome any sort of shame or guilt in terms of motherhood? How did you go about working through this?

Yes, of course. I wound up having three C-sections because my body just doesn’t dilate. I even tried to have a VBAC the second time and had a doula guiding me through, but it just didn’t happen for me, and it was something I was at first ashamed of. I’ve learned that every body and pregnancy is different, and it really doesn’t matter how you actually brought a precious life into this world.

With your public platform, what are you hoping to share with other mothers?

I think sharing my experiences and hearing so many other moms stories has brought together a sense of community, and that we are all in this together and can learn from one another! 

Tell us about your experience as a mother.

Since I was a little girl, all I’ve ever wanted was to be a mom. I come from a large family: my parents have six kids in the age span of 27 years, and I’m the oldest! My mom was either always pregnant or trying to become pregnant. So the day I found out I was expecting Harper was the happiest day of my life. The day she was born was the best since.

Becoming a mother has shaken me to the core. It’s brought out a side of me that I never knew existed. I went from putting full force into a career to quitting a few weeks before Harper turned one so that I could be home with her every day. I dreaded going to work every day I went back after maternity leave. It crushed me to leave her every morning. My family watched her for me and she started calling my mom “Mommy,” and I couldn’t handle it. I totally lucked out that my company lets me work freelance for them from home so I didn’t sever any ties, and I still have a small income. Being her mom has become my No. 1 priority. 

During your pregnancies, what were some complications or difficulties that you were faced with?

My pregnancy with Harper was a smooth one. Everything went well, aside from a ton of swelling at the end that left me on my couch for the last week. She came early at 38 weeks and two days, and we were so happy and excited to have the extra time together. My delivery was rough, and left me with a blood clot for several weeks following. I had to be readmitted to the hospital when Harper was five days old, and it was by far the most heart-wrenching experience of my life to leave my newborn with my parents and spend time recovering myself. I spiked a high fever and it was an emergency. The event altered my first few weeks of motherhood. I was in extreme pain, and the guilt I felt about leaving her was consuming. I got so deep in my head about it that it took me weeks to recover mentally and physically. 

My second pregnancy started the morning my grandmother passed away. I took a test after returning from saying goodbye to her, hoping that I was pregnant and I could bring light to such a horrible time. She was my best friend. My grandma raised me alongside my mom from day one and we had an undeniable bond. Losing her was the most difficult thing I’ve been though, and suffering the miscarriage that followed made it even harder. While sitting shiva for her following her funeral that morning, I got a call from my doctor that my HTC levels had come back very, very low. This was my third test on them in just a few days and they weren’t anywhere near where they should be. I knew I’d be miscarrying.

Weeks of waiting to miscarry naturally turned grueling during the holidays and my grandmother’s birthday two days following Christmas. We didn’t travel and didn’t see family, afraid of when I would start bleeding and knowing the pain that would come with it. Finally, I decided to have a dilation and curettage (D&C) right after the New Year, hoping to start 2019 fresh and new. Days later, I would have to be readmitted for another high fever, and I had to be taken back into the operating room for a second D&C. Finally, we moved past it and didn’t think to start trying to get pregnant again. It was during that next month I would get pregnant with the rainbow baby I’m carrying right now!

Did you ever find yourself in a situation where you had to overcome any sort of shame or guilt in terms of motherhood? How did you go work through this?

I didn’t breastfeed my daughter. Because of all of the events following her birth, it was just something I couldn’t physically do, and honestly I wish I had tried harder. I look forward to trying with my next baby. But I feel guilt for it. I felt guilted by other moms who did breastfeed, making me feel like I didn’t try hard enough. I feel guilty knowing that my second might have that experience with me that Harper didn’t. At the end of the day fed is best, and I appreciate those who understand that breastfeeding isn’t for everyone.

With your public platform, what are you hoping to share with other mothers?

I am totally open and honest about my experiences through motherhood on my platform. I want other moms to know how much sharing has helped me, and I encourage them to do the same. Sharing my miscarriage story made so many women (and men) come forward to tell me their stories of loss, and it helped me during a time when I felt completely alone and scared. Instagram has given me forever friendships with women from all over the world, and I’m so thankful for it!

Another part of who I am is my sense of style. I was raised by two women who had so many children and still dressed up and did what they could to feel their best every day. An important part of motherhood is not losing yourself, and to me that means staying true to my style, even if I have to switch out heels for flats so that I can run after my babies. I try to make women feel their best through affordable fashion and simple tips and tricks. Feeling good about yourself both pregnant and as a mother is what I try to show through my platform. It’s not always easy. It’s something I struggled with a lot during my pregnancy with Harper. I didn’t feel like myself and I didn’t document my pregnancy the way that I wish I would have. So this time around, I’m embracing the body that gave me my beautiful daughter and enjoying every single step of the way. I hope I can empower and encourage women, make them feel good about themselves, and bring light and happiness though any situation and show others that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. 

Tell us about your experience as a mother.

 My experience as a mother could be best described as a rollercoaster. There are so many highs, lows, and everything in-between, but at the end of the day, it’s the most fun I’ve ever had. I feel so lucky every day to be my kids’ mom! 

During your pregnancy or pregnancies, what were some complications or difficulties that you were faced with?

I was fortunate enough to have great pregnancies overall.

 Did you ever find yourself in a situation where you had to overcome any sort of shame or guilt in terms of motherhood? How did you go about working through this?

When I first had Savannah, I struggled with the adjustment of being a mom. I found myself thinking at times that I couldn’t wait to go back to work because being home was just too hard. I felt a huge guilt for even thinking this way, when I knew I should have just felt so blessed to have this little miracle. Funny enough, I ended up not going back to work at all because I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving her! 

With your public platform, what are you hoping to share with other mothers?

There are so many things I hope to share, but most importantly, just the joys of motherhood! I want each mom who follows me to know that there’s not one right way of being a mom. We all know what works for us and our family and never to judge other moms for doing things differently. Spreading love, encouragement, and joy is always my goal!